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March 6th, 2011


03:13 pm - Eerste artikel. De houdbaarheid van Games.
Hey hallo, leuk dat je dit leest. Ik ben bij mijn ouders wat oude artikelen tegen gekomen, die helaas niet meer online staan. Ik ga ze hier stuk voor stuk plaatsen. Enerzijds omdat ik het leuk vind om te delen, anderzijds omdat ik graag feedback heb op mijn schrijfstijl. De artikelen zijn enkele jaren oud, van ongeveer 2004. Enjoy!

De houdbaarheid van Games.

Games hebben, net als veel andere dingen, een bepaalde houdbaarheid. Hoe lang blijft het leuk om te spelen, maar ook, hoe veel jaar na het uitkomen van de game is het nog de moeite waard om een game te spelen? Het gaat dus om twee dingen, hoe lang je met een game kan doen op de korte termijn, en of je er op de langere termijn (na enkele jaren) nog mee kan, en wil spelen.

Length DOES matter.
De simpelste manier om te kijken of een game lang houdbaar is, is om te kijken naar de lengte van de game. Hoe lang doe je er gemiddeld over om een bepaalde game uit te spelen? En niet te vergeten, op welke manier wordt de lengte vergroot? De simpelste manier is natuurlijk door het speelveld te vergroten. Geen 100 kamertjes doorzoeken, maar 200 kamertjes bijvoorbeeld. Het gevaar hiermee is wel dat de game in herhaling valt. Dan is de game wel ontzettend lang, maar heeft de speler er geen plezier meer in om verder te spelen. Daar kom ik later nog op terug.

Lekker moeilijk.
Een andere veel gebruikte manier om een game langer te laten duren, is het verhogen van de moeilijkheidsgraad. Meestal kan de speler hier zelf voor kiezen. Soms wordt er een voor een combinatie van die twee gekozen. In Timesplitters 2 bijvoorbeeld, krijg je meer missiedoelen, en worden meer gebieden in de levels toegankelijk naarmate je de game op een moeilijker niveau speelt. Een andere manier om de lengte van games te verlengen, is door er later dingen aan toe te voegen. Dat kan bijvoorbeeld door expansion packs en add ons uit te brengen. Niet alleen krijgt de gamer dan meer speeluren, de makers vangen er bovendien geld voor. Gamers kunnen zelf ook de houdbaarheid van games verlengen door mods te maken en uit te brengen.

FF wisselen.
Een ander belangrijk punt is afwisseling. Door in de game de speler variatie aan te bieden, zal de speler geprikkeld worden om verder te spelen. De speler wil weten wat de game verder te bieden heeft. Variatie is op vele manieren mogelijk. Je kan variëren met veel verschillende wapens (Half Life), veel verschillende omgevingen (Metroid Prime) en zelfs veel verschillende soorten games in 1 proppen (Beyond Good and Evil). Variatie speelt zich echter niet alleen binnen de game af. Games kunnen ook variatie binnen hun genre brengen om zo aantrekkelijk voor spelers te zijn, en daarnaast de houdbaarheid van het genre te bevorderen. Zo was Goldeneye één van de eerste shooters die de Doom-stijl achter zich liet, en de speler missiedoelen halen. Daarnaast was de multiplayer ongekend verslavend.

Samen spelen!
Multiplayer is één van DE houdbaarheidsverhogende factoren van games. Ten eerste omdat geen enkel keer dat je met of tegen iemand speelt hetzelfde is. Ten tweede is er ook een vorm van sociale interactie met je medespeler. Al naar gelang de voortgang van de game kan deze positief of negatief uitvallen. Dat is vooral van toepassing als we het hebben over Co-Op modes. Als je zelf goed in een spel bent, en de ander maakt er een zooitje van, dan raak je al snel geïrriteerd, en wordt het spelen minder leuk. Aan de andere kant, een game die te makkelijk is, zal voor de geoefende speler geen uitdaging meer vormen. Het is dus zaak om de balans te vinden tussen toegankelijkheid voor de beginners en een uitdaging voor de gevorderde spelers. Dat geldt trouwens zowel voor single als voor multiplayer. Een goed voorbeeld hiervan is Soul Calibur 2.



Time to go solo.
Om singleplayer-only games te blijven spelen, ook als je de game al uitgespeeld hebt, vereist creativiteit van de developer. Men kan bonussen vrijgeven, of de game moet simpelweg zo tof zijn dat men hem graag nog een keer uitspeelt. Dan is vooral de identificatie met het spel heel belangrijk. Als je je verbonden voelt met een game, en je wil bepaalde momenten uit de game opnieuw meemaken (een vette bossbattle, een mooie tussenfilm), dan zit er vaak maar 1 ding op. Opnieuw beginnen met spelen.

Waarschuwing! Beperkt houdbaar.
Een game, of beter gezegd een franchise, kan ook zelf zijn houdbaarheid aangeven. Dat zijn meestal sportgames, of andere genres die een periodieke update krijgen. Elk jaar een nieuwe Fifa, NFL, NBA game, ga zo maar door. Op zich is het wel logisch, fans willen immers niet met achterhaalde teams spelen. Qua gameplay zal de game misschien nog wel in orde zijn, en het zal niks van de kwaliteit van de game af doen. Het is alleen zo dat fans graag een spel spelen waarmee ze zich kunnen identificeren en met sportspellen betekent dat nu eenmaal dat gegevens moeten kloppen met het heden. Aan de andere kant, soms hebben gamers liever een oudere editie. Fifa 2000 had bijvoorbeeld zaalvoetbal, en het deel van 2003 had minder bugs dan 2004. Dat soort afwegingen kunnen gamers in conflict brengen. Ga je voor de oudere maar stiekem wel leukere game of voor de gegevens die het meest kloppen met het heden?

Goud van oud.
En hoe zit het dan met oude games? Welke oude games zijn nu nog leuk om te spelen? Dat is ook een kenmerk van houdbaarheid. Een aantal developers (Atari, Namco, Capcom, Nintendo) proberen geld te verdienen door oude games opnieuw uit te brengen. Soms in een nieuw jasje, zoals Pacman VS, soms in de originele staat, zoals de verzamelingen van Atari. Nintendo heeft een strategie om oude NES games uit te brengen op de GBA. Of die games nog leuk zijn om te spelen? Tsja, gameplay over graphics wordt vaak geroepen, maar wat als de gameplay ook achterhaald is?

Met andere woorden:
Houdbaarheid van games hangt van veel factoren af. Niet alleen moet de game leuk zijn om te spelen, de game moet ook leuk blijven om te spelen. En aangezien het begrip “leuk” voor iedereen anders is, zijn sommige games voor de één houdbaarder dan voor de ander. Ik ben dan ook benieuwd naar jullie reactie. Wat maakt voor jullie een game houdbaar?
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

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April 26th, 2010


12:05 pm - I'm not ok.
I realized something last night. I'm not ok. It's not that I'm ill or something. I don't have anything medicaly wrong with me. So, what makes it that I'm not ok?

Well, I'm not happy, while I have no reason not to be happy. It's so confusing. I have friends, a good relationship with my family. I have a job, I'm debtfree, the weather is improving, etc. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with my life. But why do I feel like it is?

I feel like I'm adrift, I have no clear direction or purpose. Nothing I do feels like it matters, like it lasts. I've started medication to relieve some of my internal tensions, maybe that will help. But they've been something that I've had pretty much all my life. It's worse then ever now though. It keeps me from doing things. It makes my movement sluggish, it feels like my chest is imploding, eating me up from the inside. I'm not being emo, this is how it physically feels.

I cried last night. I had to. Crying is good. It's hard for me to cry, usually I only do it with funerals and such. I'm glad it happened.

Like I mentioned earlier. I don't feel like I have a sense of purpose, of meaning. I also don't feel like I "belong" somewhere. Yes, I feel comfortable with my friends and such, that's not it. I'm not ungratefull, I realize what I have, that's what makes this so confusing.

I think I miss, no, I know I miss someone who feels like "home". You know, an actual relationship. I don't have that. My last "relationship" was hardly a relationship and I'm still hurting from it. I don't have anyone to come home to, to be at peace with. Someone where you know, that, whatever happens, you're ok. Again, I know I have friendships like that. But you know as well as I do that being friends and being partners is not on the same level, it's completely different.

I'm worried I'm longing for that for all the wrong reasons. I feel like I'm losing control, that I have less and less to hold on to. I don't want a relationship as some sort of surrogate sense of control, like "well, at least I have that". Ergo, I don't want a relationship so I can fix my issues. But, seeing as how I'm aware of that danger, I can be confident it won't happen.

I'm not angry at the world. This isn't the worlds fault. This isn't anyone's fault. It just is. I'm not ok. And I don't know what to do about it.

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September 26th, 2009


05:16 pm - BACKTOMENU
This is greatness, wrapped in awesomeness, served in pie.



Current Mood: crazycrazy

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June 25th, 2009


06:50 pm - Words words words.
As part of an ongoing meme, I replied to some posts, asking for 5 words that have some relation to myself. In accordance to proper meme behaviour, I post them here. First up: Tamara's words.

1: Geek
I'm a geek, very true. I embrace the gaming/geek lifestyle. I've been to conventions, played D&D, etc. More recently, I've been reading comics. I also own a circuitboard necklace that I like to wear.  Japan fascinates me, I own a Tribble,  DVD's with geeky movies/cartoons and a diecast model of the Adam West Batman series. I am geek, hear me ROAR.

2: Doomsdaydevice
I used to own a doomsdaydevice, as a keychain. It was a black box, with yellow stripes and a red button under a plastic cover. If you lifted the cover and pressed the button, a red light would flash, a beebing sound would go off, followed by the sound of an explosion. Very awesome. Too bad I lost it and it was broken anyway. I should get a new one.

3: Tongue
I have a long tongue.

4: T-Shirts
I have T-Shirts. Hehehe. More importantly, I have T-Shirts with prints on them. Words and stuff. You could say I collect them. I love those kinds of shirts. Wether they be jokes, images, statements or just plain rude. I like them. Smile if you're beautiful!

5: Womanizer
Uh, I have a reputation, haha. Dunno why. Oh wait, maybe it's because I'm a womanizer. Which is odd considering my "diagnose". Well, gogo breaking stereotypes. Since I don't keep a list of all my, uh, encouters, I need to estimate my sexpartners. If encounters where only foreplay happened are included, well, uh. Around 20? Give or take? I have no idea. But, it doesn't matter, since if all goes well, I'll be in a monogamous relationship ^_^

Ok, those were Tamara's words, now off to Damanique's!

1: Autism
I have autism. More specific, I have Asperger's Syndrom. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago. I consider myself to be a very un-stereotypical autist. I have friends, I'm a "womanizer", I see to the core pretty quickly. But, some things are there, I must admit. I'm oblivious to subtlety, mixed messages just confuse me and I can't handle change unless it's my own. I need to know what's happening or else I stress out. And when someone doesn't send out any signals at all, well. I don't know what to do.

2: Poly-amory
Oh, tough one. Uh. I used to be a poly diplomat :P Sharing love and experiences and such. But eh, recent developments have made me sway to the monogamous side. Crazy, I know.

3: Indonesian
I'm part Indonesian, 12,5% to be exact. This is relevant to me and Dama because when we first met, she was like "OMG another Indo guy that I like WTF" and then after me, she got her first BF, who was ALSO Indo. Crazy stuff. I don't feel very connected to Indonesia though. But I like the food,

4: Fashion
Not so much fashion as that I follow trends, but, I like dress nice. I love shopping for clothes and shoes. I like matching my outfit and looking spiffy. Woo!

5: Wrestling
One of my guilty pleasures I love that entertainment. It's so deliciously violent <3 And, I like to wrestle a bit myself. Must be my inner sadist ;-)

Alright! That was fun. So, if you want to have this done to you. Just post a reply with WORDS in them (the word words, you smart-ass) and I will give you 5 :-)

Yay for posting!


Current Mood: flirtyflirty
Current Music: Papa Roach - Infest | Powered by Last.fm

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April 18th, 2009


12:53 am - A post in Dutch, just so you know. Dingen die ik haat:
Niet kunnen huilen ondanks vol met negatieve emoties zitten. Niet boos kunnen worden omdat er niemand is om boos op te worden. Ook niet mezelf, het is mijn schuld niet. Ik kan er niks aan doen, het maakt me apatisch, het vreet me van binnen op.

Ik haat mezelf, mijn autisme, dus mezelf. Ik haat het missen van een diepe band met iemand, ik haat het niet kunnen voelen van een diepe band met iemand. Ik haat het om constant mezelf met anderen te vergelijken. Ik haat het om verbanden en sociale interactie tussen anderen te zien en ik haat het dat ik voel dat ik daar in toch echt een handicap in heb.

Ik haat het dat als ik me zo voel, dat niets en niemand er wat aan kan doen, ook al merk ik dat er mensen zijn die daar dan hun best voor doen. Ik haat het dat ik ze dan misschien teleurstel, of afstoot. Ik haat het dat ik nooit volledig zal kunnen snappen of inzien hoe communicatie werkt. Ik haat het dat ik dat niet kan accepteren en bij gebrek aan contact niet gewoon kan observeren.

Liefde is dood, zeker nu.

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April 11th, 2009


11:46 pm - Cliques and other social awkwardness.
Cliques. Never been good with them, never will be. I'm very aware of social structrures around me, but, I have no idea how to deal with them. I often have friends, but, when those friends are part of a larger group, who know each other well and I'm the "new guy" well, it takes time to intergrate in the group. I understand that.

However, when someone else who is also new, and that person gets like, absorbed into that clique, well. I get confused. Confused and pissed off. Not that I don't, eh, grant them the pleasure of being accepted. it's just that I don't understand why they do get accepted and why not, well me.

So what do I do? I start acting like a retard. Or just hyper. Running to people, being intense. Just anything to get a reaction. Hey, you want a massage? No? Well, how about I start poking at that mask of yours? Oh hey, nice wall, what;s behind it? Ah, so you wanna share secrets? Sure!

It's gotten to the point where I;m frustrating myself. I can't seem to find a middleground. Either I'm like a big display of fireworks or just a little failing match. I need to give people the chance to get to know me, to let them approach me. But, at the same time, I need to present myself as being approachable. It's so confusing it's almost hurting me.

And yes, I am aware that I have autism, but, I don't wanna lay the blame on that all the time. I want to learn that I don't have to jump at every chance of social interaction. I need to understand that when you talk with someone and there's a silence, it doesn't mean there's something wrong.

These are things I need to work at, and have patience with. It also means I'll need to find a way to deal with all this energy I have inside myself.
Current Music: Deep Blue Something - Breakfast at Tiffany's | Powered by Last.fm

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March 9th, 2009


01:43 pm - Results are in! I am a...

Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Nirvana - Sliver | Powered by Last.fm

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March 8th, 2009


01:41 am - The Fool is noticing the magic around him.
Man, there's so much going on I don't even know where to start. Here's some stuff.

Had a date with someone I met 2 days earlier on the internet, resulting in the ending of my 6 month drought and me playing Street Fighter 2 with her, and she was also topless while doing that. So that was intense. And epic win.

On the way back, I actually had a conversation with someone I never met. Most amazing thing? She said "we've only talked for 30 minutes and I feel like already know you." So that was intense too.

I'm going to follow a workshop on camera acting. It's being given by a guy called Joep Sertons. I did some research and that man is pretty much an actor who's had roles in a LOT of major Dutch TV series and he now makes his own movies. This is the real deal we're talking about. I'm getting a script sent I'll need to study. More intensity.

I'm going to meet someone new on the 20th. Now, this isn't a big deal for me, but, it is for her, I'm gonna spend the night at her place (on the couch, no funny stuff) and that's totally new for her. The next day, we're heading to Amsterdam for a munch. Sometime later, I'll leave the munch and go to Geekfest. So itll be a busy and intense two days.

I also got word that I can move out in about 6 weeks. I was on a waiting list for an apartment, they told me I'd have to wait about 6 months/ 1 year. So that's now 6 weeks. Again, this is very intense and lifechanging.

And on top of all of that, I'm finally starting to realise, not only who I am, but, who I am respectively to others. I'm starting to realise what my actions, thoughts, words and such, what that can do to others. Also, I'm realising what it means if someone does something for or to me. More on this later.

So, all and all, that's a lot. This all hit me, really hit me a few days ago. It was like, all of a sudden, well, I got a lot less autistic and a lot more insecure. I've been insecure about my occasional overwhelmingness before, but, that was because I didn't really notice it. Now, I'm starting to be aware of it, and feel it myself, and I'm even more scared. If this has such an impact on me, what does it mean for others? I'm not trying to sound like I'm afraid of being awesome, I don't want to sound arrogant. It's just that well, I';ve been in a speeding train for a long time, but I've only just held my head out of the window and felt I fast I'm going.

Now, what does this mean? For the most part, I like being intense. But how can I be intense if I can't even handle it myself anymore? Or, when I'm busting through personal walls, how will that affect me? People have done it to me before, on occasion, but I think I might be a lot more sensitive to it now. It feels like I thought I was walking in a lush, pretty park and all of a sudden I find myself in the middel of a minefield.

I was at a birthday party a couple of weeks ago, Cy-V's to be exact. She laid a tarot for me, 3 cards, 1 for the past, 1 for the present and one for the future. Past was the Lovers card. Which makes sense, it's been 6 months since me and Mirjam broke up, etc. Present and future were, respectively, the Fool and the Magician.

The Fool wanders around, dressed eccentrically, playing some music, having a general good time, but, not aware of his surroundings, nor paying attention to those around him. The Magician, is very selfaware, has come to terms with his flaws and qualities, has an intense presence, that he is also aware and in in control of.

I feel like I might be in that phase now, going from the Fool into the Magician. I have clear thoughts on what I want, I'm opening up to myself and others. And maybe, in time, I can live up to my potential. The potential I have, not only for myself, but for others as well. That I may finally grasp my multidimensional and often paradoxical personality, and get some order into this chaotic mind of mine.

It;s scary though. I've never been one for taking regular steps or whatever, but this is really a big leap, well, let's hope forward. I feel ready, I feel able, my wings are eager to spread and let me soar through life. Let's hope they're not made of wax.


Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: The Killers - When You Were Young | Powered by Last.fm

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March 7th, 2009


03:46 pm - Copied from the Tyra Banks forum because you need to sign up there.
Hello, my name is Alwin. I was born on the 1st of May, 1984, in The Netherlands. I have friends, I've been in relationships, had jobs, even one abroad. I like to travel, visit concerts, festivals, go shopping, give massages, change my hairstyle, etc.

I've also been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrom.

The reason I'm telling you this is that I feel there should be a countervoice against movements such as generationrescue.com. Now, don't get me wrong. I am all for research into a better understanding of autism. But claiming autism is reversible, that vaccination causes autism and that you have to BREAK through autism to get to the real person, is not only wrong and insulting, it's dangerous.

Autism isn't a disease. And in many ways, it isn't even a disorder. Yes, I know, and I agree, that many people with autism need assistance on certain aspects in life, and that some people have it so bad they need 24/7 care. HOWEVER, it is unfair and unjust to think autism is just that, to think it's all tics, fascinations and whatever. I'm not Rainman, my name isn't Sam and I don't rock back and forth like a foetus.

Yes, I have some problems. I don't pick up subtle signals, mixed messages confuse me, I have trouble keeping order in my brain as well as my room, etc. But, my Asperger has also provided me with a lot of good things.

I see a lot of details, like a different haircut, shoes, but also things in a room or a painting or picture. I even notice it in people's behaviour. I see through masks, break through walls and get to the person or the issue. That's also a way of survival for me. If people are fake, I don't get to know them and if i find out, I get confused.

Another thing is that I don't pay attention to things like "personal shame". with that I mean that, if I see a common ground, I sometime start conversation with a stranger. It always works out well, and when someone says "I've only talked 30 minutes with you, but it's like I know you already", that's a great compliment.

I'm forward, I'm extravert, I like getting attention. To a level, I need attention, because it's the only way for me to know wether people like having me around. I've been in commercials, on stage, on TV. I like that, I love acting and improvising.

What I'm trying to say here, with all these examples, is that a lot of people with autism doesn't need anyone to speak for them. We can do it perfectly ourselves. And if not, there's training and courses for it. Don't fight our battles for us. In fact, don't fight autism at all. We're not broken, we're not set back. We're just wired differently. So instead of trying to rewire us, learn our manual instead.

My name is Alwin. I was born on May 1st, 1984 in The Netherlands. I laugh, cry, scream, whisper, feel and create. I also have been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrom.


And I wouldn't have me any other way.
Current Mood: determineddetermined
Current Music: Foo Fighters - Learn to Fly | Powered by Last.fm

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February 28th, 2009


01:50 am - Music meme!
10:47 pm - Random music shuffle meme!
Stolen from </a>damanique because music memes are fun. I put ALL my music on shuffle for this, and that's about a zillion songs, so. (I also skipped the ones that were just lame, come on, the meme has to be a little bit amusing)

The rules:
Put your music player of choice on shuffle and answer these questions with the first line(s) of the song.


1. If you were to see a ghost, you'd scream... As soon as I'm left alone, The Devil wanders into my soul - PJ Harvey, The Devil

2. If you were to write an autobiography, you'd call it... The basement scene is dark and dusty - Freezepop, Less Talk More Rokk (If my name was Dutroux or Fritz maybe O_o )

3. You get a letter from a secret admirer that reads... Ladies and Gentlemen, this is mambo no 5! - Lou Bega, Mambo no 5.

4. In a job interview you're always sure to tell the manager... I've been looking for  a trace, looking for a heart - Guns 'n Roses, you're crazy

5. When you arrive at the pearly gates in the sky you say... You and me, we used to be together, every day together, always....- No Doubt, Don't speak. ( Meep, scarily fitting)

6. If you were a superhero, your catch phrase would be... Well is it true what they say about it, they say it's new but I have to doubt it. - The Hives, Walk idiot walk.

7. When somebody offers you drugs you decline by saying... I'm just a regular everyday normal guy, nothing special about me, motherfucker! - Jon Lajoie, Everyday Normal Guy (Heh, that could work actually)

8. While stuck in traffic you read a strange bumper sticker that states... My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye? - Aqua, My oh my

9. Hmm...these are some feelings you should really keep to yourself... How many times can you put me down, Til in your heart you realize,
If you choose to criticize, You choose your enemies -  Ozzy Osbourne, You're no different

10. When a bully insults you, your comeback is... Decieved by my eyes, and all I was told I should see. Opinions not mine, a person they tought me to be..... - Waterproof Blonde, Close your eyes.

11. When you win a game of ping pong you shout... Kool Thing, sittin' with a kiddie. Now you know you're sure lookin' pretty.- Sonic Youth, Kool Thing

12. So what exactly makes you so awesome :]... Some tuesday night, a year ago, I stepped into this club, I heard sweet discosongs below, and never since went up - Van Kooten en De Bie, Doomed to disco.

13. After making out, you tell your sweetheart... "Oh no I just keep on falling (back to the same old), and where's hope, when misery keeps calling (on my way-eh) - Paramore: Born for this ( Yeah, that's really romantic >_> )

14. If you're the valedictorian of your school, you open your valedictory speech with... Girl...you'll be a woman soon..- Urge Overkill,, Girl, you'll be a woman soon.

15. Describe your best friend... "Too legit, too legit to quit! - MC Hammer, Too legit to quit. ( Wait, what? This doesn't even make sense)

16. When you're angry, you like to scream.... "You say the sweetest things and I can't keep my heart from singing - Paramore, Stop this song

17. What you say to ask for forgiveness from someone you've hurt: You're so impossible, scream and moan, it chills my soul - Queens of the Stone Age, Another love song ( I have strange understandings of social behaviour, it seems)

18. How you express your feelings to your crush... "Get yourself cooler, lay yourself low, coincidental murder, with nothing to show - Aerosmith, Same old song and dance ( I really need to get some social training, this is all very inapropriate!)

19. How you introduce yourself to people... "Wait by the phone, all night long. He can't help you, but I know, I could.- Queens of the Stone Age, Gonna leave you

20. When asking for directions, you start the question with... I got nothin' to lose, I'm going all out - Cypress Hill, Nothing to Lose.

This was fun!

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

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